The Zombification of Celebrity Perfumes

Jennifer who?

The Great Age of Celebrity Perfumes began in 1987 with Elizabeth Taylor’s Passion and ran out of steam about thirty years later. Sure, established brands like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears continue to make money, but consumers—and most of the industry—have moved on.

Yet, like the never-ending hordes in zombie movies, personality-based fragrances keep hurling themselves onto the market. Here’s one mentioned recently in Cosmo:

Jennifer Fisher’s My Scent Fragrance Sold Out in *Two* Hours—But It’s Back

[Jennifer who?—Ed.] [Right? There’s the problem in a nutshell.]

Has celebrity inflation devalued the Jennifer market? Ranker.com has a convenient list of “Famous People Named Jennifer.” The top six entries are reasonably famous: Aniston, Lawrence, Lopez, Garner, Hudson, and Connelly. The remainder are dubious: Coolidge? O’Neill? Worst of all, they rank Jennifer Tilly #17 which is outrageous. Based on Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky alone she should be in the top ten. [Ahem. Your point?—Ed.] My point is that Ms. Fisher doesn’t even appear in Ranker’s list, despite their having scraped the bottom of the Jennifer barrel.

Do you get the feeling that the celebrity fragrance concept is hitting a dead end? Well, you’re right!

Inspired by the iconic superstar, The Estate of Whitney E. Houston and Primary Wave Music partnered with Scent Beauty and Firmenich to translate Whitney’s voice and beauty into signature fragrance notes.

And what did they decide to name this olfactory homage to Whitney Houston, dead these ten long years?

It’s called (I shit you not) the Whitney Houston Signature Fragrance.

That is even more generic that J. Fisher’s My Scent.

I sense a trend. I’m going to jump on it and launch My Signature Fragrance.

“Wow, you smell great. What are you wearing?

“My Signature Fragrance.”

“Really? You have a signature fragrance?”

“Yes. It’s My Signature Fragrance.”

“I’m so jealous!”

Voice-over: “When everyone is a somebody, nobody is an anybody. My Signature Fragrance by That Smell Scientist.”